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November 26, 2005

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Andrew Lambdin-Abraham

Oooops.

Syd Webb

Claudia,

You and Doug sound like you're taking a sensible apprach.

The obligatory book (for the parent to read) when a governess or maid tells young tots about monsters is Terry Pratchett's Hogfather.

Regarding David's night terrors, is it possible it might not be monsters? Youngsters live in a world of many unknowns and many things they cannot control. Fear is a valid response to these intangibles and sometimes this fear can be projected onto something more tangible, like a 'monster'. I'm probably wrong, but a little chat about fears and what David is scared of may not go astray.

[A random thought is that a toddler is almost entirely dependant on the love and goodwill of his Muti, especially when Vati is often away on business. You love Alan absolutely and unconditionally. But in a youngster's mind love is often equated with the direct volume of attention. It's just possible that no longer being the youngest child, with Muti often (and correctly) attending to the baby, is on some level disturbing for David. Just a thought.]

- Syd

James

It occurs to me that if the new maid became the ex-maid, you could tell David that the monsters, being pets of the ex-maid, no longer reside in the house. And being rather stupid, they would never be able to find their way back to it.

Victor

Guys,
Chill! It's Romania over there!!! Land of fairies and bad creatures (vampires)! Ask a Romanian (as yours children do when they're playing around with other children). Some things are scary ... some things are not! Some kids got scared, some not! This is what you have to deal with!
Why don't you get a romanian tales book?! And read it! Try to find some of the old ones. Legendele si basmele romnilor! Even you can learn something from it! ;) It seems you've missed this one in your childhood :) Besides, kids love to be scared! The parents are spending more time around ;)

claudia

Syd - yes, you are right, of course. Lots of scary things going on at the moment and David does need a lot of reassurance. I hope we are giving it to him - we did decide against putting him into school this fall since this would have coincided with the arrival of his baby brother. So he gets to spend quite a bit of one-on-one time with me during the day. Not that this rational approach is necessarily making a difference in the mind of a two-year-old... We are working on it, along the lines you suggested.

James - well... This is our third maid since we came to Romania and our time here does draw towards an end in the near future. So that is not really a practical option. But, you know, we could just leave the monsters behind when we leave Romania, eh? ;-)

Victor. Kids may enjoy to be a little scared (I would think of older kids, though). But terrified is quite another thing. Screaming in the night is not good, period.

As to old legends - the kids are of German and Irish descent. 'nuff said.

I have certainly not lacked for fairy tales and horror stories in my childhood, and I know how it feels to lie awake in bed and not dare to move for fear. I still remember my nightmares of when I was six or seven.

We are decidedly NOT adding vampires to the mix. For goodness' sake, the kids are 3 and 2 years old! That, I'm sure, can wait.

Oskar L.

Claudia,
Complicated thing with kids (I've got three boys of my own - 6, 3 and 3) is that it's very unpredictable what will scare them - they'll be completely unfazed by warewolf stories but have nightmares from listening to Goldilocks and the three bears (I think that's what it's called). I've found it usually wears off once you fill their heads with something new!

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