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May 02, 2007


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James Bodi

Only you would put Rush in an obit for Herbert Kornfeld.

My favourite Onion still has to be 'Ask a Worker Bee'.

Dennis Brennan

Trying to fulfill your Canadian content requirements?

Why'd they retire the character-- did the writer leave the Onion?

Bernard Guerrero

I'm thinking Myron Schabe had him whacked. Having once worked for an office supply company, I can personally verify that those AP bastards will pop a cap in your ass over nothing. Nothing. And don't get me started on the actuaries......

The New York City High School Math Teacher

Sheila Berkowitz in the steno pool was seen talking to Weinbaum on smoke breaks regularly. As we all know, Sheila was Kornfeld's alpha female consort - his "'ho" to use the parlance of our times. Kornfeld is even reported to have brought Sheila with him on a barnburner week-long tour of the Florida Gold Coast last January - Daytona Beach with cousin Shirley, Pembroke Pines with Bubbe Katy and Zayde Gavril and Palm Beach with the senior Kornfeld (he didn't show any cell phone pictures from there), Boca (to look at a condo near the Publix), Fort Lauterdale with Sheila's Onkel Leo and Tante Isabelle, and finally spending shabbos in North Miami Beach with his uncle Charlie and aunt Lillian. No pictures from there - they're shomer.

Kornfeld was even talking about going down to Fortunoff's.

Berkowitz connected to Weinbaum, something's up, says Kornfeld. Kornfeld hears about this - confronts Weinbaum. Calls him a tomcat. There's a scuffle, a struggle. Weinbaum strikes Kornfeld in the nose - breaks it. Blood all over. Kornfeld goes to the copier to take a picture of his injuries - Weinbaum, in a state of panic, murders him by crushing his skull with the multisheet feeder.

Minute 43 of the next Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

Patrick banks

Was Herbert a good bowler? Because he was a good man. Good night, sweet prince.


Editorial from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 4th, 2007: "Was the Kornfeld Murder a Jewish Conspiracy?"

Headline from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 7th, 2007: "Longtime T-S Editor Tom Ohlsson Steps Down"

Headline from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 8th, 2007: "County's Lone Samoan, Rabbi Speak Against Bigotry"

Headline from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 9th, 2007: "Bear Found on Dells Water Slide"

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