Though his mind was not for rent, don't put him down as arrogant.
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May 03, 2007
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Only you would put Rush in an obit for Herbert Kornfeld.
My favourite Onion still has to be 'Ask a Worker Bee'.
Posted by: James Bodi | May 03, 2007 at 04:57 PM
Trying to fulfill your Canadian content requirements?
Why'd they retire the character-- did the writer leave the Onion?
Posted by: Dennis Brennan | May 04, 2007 at 06:14 AM
I'm thinking Myron Schabe had him whacked. Having once worked for an office supply company, I can personally verify that those AP bastards will pop a cap in your ass over nothing. Nothing. And don't get me started on the actuaries......
Posted by: Bernard Guerrero | May 04, 2007 at 07:26 AM
Sheila Berkowitz in the steno pool was seen talking to Weinbaum on smoke breaks regularly. As we all know, Sheila was Kornfeld's alpha female consort - his "'ho" to use the parlance of our times. Kornfeld is even reported to have brought Sheila with him on a barnburner week-long tour of the Florida Gold Coast last January - Daytona Beach with cousin Shirley, Pembroke Pines with Bubbe Katy and Zayde Gavril and Palm Beach with the senior Kornfeld (he didn't show any cell phone pictures from there), Boca (to look at a condo near the Publix), Fort Lauterdale with Sheila's Onkel Leo and Tante Isabelle, and finally spending shabbos in North Miami Beach with his uncle Charlie and aunt Lillian. No pictures from there - they're shomer.
Kornfeld was even talking about going down to Fortunoff's.
Berkowitz connected to Weinbaum, something's up, says Kornfeld. Kornfeld hears about this - confronts Weinbaum. Calls him a tomcat. There's a scuffle, a struggle. Weinbaum strikes Kornfeld in the nose - breaks it. Blood all over. Kornfeld goes to the copier to take a picture of his injuries - Weinbaum, in a state of panic, murders him by crushing his skull with the multisheet feeder.
Minute 43 of the next Law and Order: Criminal Intent.
Posted by: The New York City High School Math Teacher | May 04, 2007 at 07:57 AM
Was Herbert a good bowler? Because he was a good man. Good night, sweet prince.
Posted by: Patrick banks | May 05, 2007 at 03:44 PM
Editorial from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 4th, 2007: "Was the Kornfeld Murder a Jewish Conspiracy?"
Headline from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 7th, 2007: "Longtime T-S Editor Tom Ohlsson Steps Down"
Headline from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 8th, 2007: "County's Lone Samoan, Rabbi Speak Against Bigotry"
Headline from the Poynette (Wisc.) Times-Shopper, May 9th, 2007: "Bear Found on Dells Water Slide"
Posted by: Carlos | May 07, 2007 at 05:06 PM