Last week my friend Mike Loew at the Onion called and asked me, "Carlos, you have a nice suit, right?" This is the result. I'm meant to be the corpse of New Mexico governor Bill Richardson, who I guess I resemble a bit, maybe hungover with a good haircut a dozen years from now: We did not rent out the Ohio statehouse for the photo. I actually spent an hour face down on the hardwood floors of the Onion's Soho offices, thinking "what's my motivation?" until the left side of my lips fell asleep, pressed between the floor and my teeth. Comedy is hard.
I'm also the veteran cop in this photo (the guy on the left), with some very slight, almost imperceptible Photoshopping: I stuck out my gut to get that "I spend a lot of time at the doughnut shop" look, while Chad Nackers, the Onion's Jesus body-double, took the shots. Then they darkened the skin on the hands a bit, pasted in the face, et cetera. The tie isn't mine either.